About 2 months ago I had the chance to roast NBA Hall of Famer Dennis Rodman. This is is the very NSFW result.
About 2 months ago I had the chance to roast NBA Hall of Famer Dennis Rodman. This is is the very NSFW result.
Life’s nothing without traditions, and going to Radio City Music Hall, “disguised” as Fitzy, alongside my brother @thegeoffman to have fun with the football fans outside the NFL Draft every year is one of our favorites. When one of the greatest botched plays in football history earns the nickname “Buttfumble”, and fans respond to and cheer it, how can you have a bad time? (mild language, should you watch these kinds of videos at work…or with your kids)
Wanna know how & why Paul Sullivan, aka “Sully”, aka “Sully Baseball”, and I came about the nickname “The Deli Flowers” for the 2013 Red Sox, and why it’s so perfect? Wanna know what late 80’s Red Sox taunt I was cheering during the end of the Oscar telecast Sunday night? Wanna know how two grown men obsessed with movies, baseball and the sound of their own voice chose to spend a Monday night in late February? Then tune in to Part 1 of this edition of The Sully Baseball Podcast. We actually yapped for so long that Sully chose to break this up into 2 podcasts. You know, like how Bill Simmons does on his “BS Report” for ESPn. Well, this si the same thing. Just with less technology or sponsorship. Hey, I thought I was doing him a favor, beng a yammerstein, giving him a second podcast for the price of one. And that’s what you get any time you invite me on your podcast - so much yip-yap that if you’re feeling lazy or pressed for time you’ll probably get a second podcast out of it! I think this is how Peter Jackson came to make “The Hobbit” into not one but three movies. People just got talking about the Red Sox and Ben Affleck and fatherhood and, well…what an unexpected journey, indeed.
Let’s be honest - most everything about mid to late-February kinda sucks. OK, the Oscars are fun. But otherwise, especially for the rabid sportsfan who is experiencing crushing football withdrawal? Yeah, this is a brutal time of year. Many men like me are suffering from a different kind of SAD: Seasonal Affective Disorder. It’s FSAD: Football Seasonal Affective Disorder. Well, lucky for me, sports blog superstar, and burgeoning sportsmedia personality Matt Ufford invited me in for a chat on his SB Nation Show “Uffsides” this week. and might I say few things warm the lower depths of the manheart on a cold rainy Tuesday in late February like talking football. We also touch on the sleepless joys early fatherhood (which I am in the glorious throws of currently…no, please, thank you), the joys of Massholery and the omnipotent meme-ery of “Harlem Shake”. As enjoyable a beer-free 35 minutes as I’ve spent with another gentleman in some time. And yes, I realize how weird that sounds.
Hopefully I’ll get a chance to pontificate pigskin with Matt and the SB Nation peoples soon. In the interim, make sure to subscribe to his show on iTunes, follow Matt and SB Nation on Twitter, subscribe to their YouTube Channel, and like all good Hulksters make sure to say your prayers and eat your vitamins.
A few years ago ESPN Mobile hired the Fitzy/Townie News team for the “Monday Night Mania” Project, where we were tasked with creating 3-4 videos per weekend to paint a picture of what’s going on in that city and how the fans were getting psyched for the game. Sadly, we were sent to Atlanta 3 times in the wake of Michael Vick’s arrest, plus other emotional dead-ends like Jacksonville, far too often. So the games and the hype weren’t much to write home about. However. we did get to cover several Patriots games in the then unbelievable and now tragically unforgettable “Imperfect Season”. We were also given some freedom to create some off-the-wall promotional videos, especially for what is now known as the “Watch ESPN” service, known then as ESPN 360. Our bosses asked us to come up with a video that would promote the idea that this service would allow you to, through laptop, desktop or phone, watch sports virtually anywhere, anytime. This is what we came up with. To this day I’ll never understand why ESPN didn’t market the hell out of this. I thought Flex Hamblast was going to be ESPN’s Terry Tate: Office Linebacker.
I’m currently in the thick of The Friars’ Club’s second ever “So You Think You Can Roast?” competition, where comedians and jackasses alike audition to win a coveted spot as a comic who participates in celebrity roasts. For someone who can’t really get his own shit together but enjoys busting the balls and pointing out the flaws in others much more famous and successful than myself, it’s a pretty friggin’ good time. To get to partake in the verbally caustic takedowns of people I look up to, or will never be as accomplished as? Good time on ice. Roasts have been a staple of the comedy community for decades. From those iconic Dean Martin boozefests to the bombastic Comedy Central free-for-alls, making fun of someone is the best way to let them know you care about them. After all, the adage is “you only roast the ones you love”. Which is mostly true…and brings me to the video.
For an audition we were able to choose anybody we wanted, and come up with a 2-3 minute roast of them. For a hundred different reasons Guy Fieri just popped in my head like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. No real need to explain the how and why. Plenty to have fun with. In fact keeping it to just under 4 minutes was nearly impossible. Anyway, this is my audition video for the roast festival…an audition that earned me a spot at the roast of Padma Lakshmi (“host of “Top Chef”) last Friday, February 1st. Which went really well. No feelings hurt. Many a tasteless jokes made. If all goes well more roasts will be partaken in soon. Hoping I qualify for the chance to roast Dennis Rodman on March 15th. Last I checked there was only a LITTLE you could speak of mockingly, with a smirk, about The Worm. Says the die-hard Celtics fan.
Video from the Padma roast soon. You stay classy, tumblr.
You guys wanna hear some ridiculous NFL Wild Card Weekend predictions from a hard-drinking, foul-mouthed, leisurely-gambling degenerate Pats fan? No? OK, great! Here you go.
Language is rather NSFW, as it should be for this “character”.
Oh, and if you’re a Pats or football or money-wasting fan and want to buy any of the shirts you see me shamelessly wearing in the video then head on over to The Townie News Store. Dood, , much like ya’ mom, we sell ‘em wicked cheap!
With the editorial assistance and excellence of the one and only Geoffman Stevens, I now proudly present for you, [insert viewer name here], my new Hosting/On-Camera Reel. In the last few years I have hosted co-hosted, appeared on or taken part in several TV and internet-based programs. With varying degrees of hilarity, success and failure. Which is par for the mini-golf course that is working in entertainment. Here you’ll see a nice 7 minute cross-section and representation of some of those shows. I hope you enjoy and consider working with me on [insert your project name here]. Or at least not having to look away from me next time we pass each other in the hall at school.
Part 2 of my “2 Videos, 1 NFL Draft” series…this is always my favorite video to make every year in my full-blown Masshole “character”, Fitzy. And it’s character that gets the quotation marks as Fitzy and I have sort of merged over the years. The lines have blurred, and not it’s truly a Dr. Stevens / Mr. Fitzy world I inhabit. I’m Joe the Narrator, Fitzy a Boston sports-obsessed Tyler Durden. Just watch the 2 draft videos and you’ll see the similarities, and the minimal difference. Anyway, great characters galore at this year’s draft, as always. Personally my favorite was the Steelers fan who did the spot-on Joe Pesci. With runner-up going to the Cool Ranch Doritos super-villain, and the Eagles fan who was there to reparazemp. You’ll see why these fanimals, and not just the chance to stand on line all day, or just talk football for afew days, then wait 4 months for them to play games that count, is why my brother and I go every year and do what we do.
Well, that and Geoffman and I are die-hahd supah-obsessed Tom Brady apologizing Pats fans who will nevah evah get enough. GO PATS!!! And please enjoy.
THIS WAS THE MOST FUN I’VE HAD TALKING INTO A MICROPHONE IN AGES. Allow me to explain why…
Matty Blake is about as funny, affable and hard working as an actor comes. He’s a great dude, who I have deep bromosexual feelings for given that he does almost the exact same things I do for a living, and yet it’s never a competition. He loves Tom Brady almost as much as I do…almost. He got his start in comedy AND he still loves radio. Best of all he’s a hard worker who’s not one of those guys who always seems like he’s “working it”. Case in point? Though he’s a comedian by nature, he respects the craft of acting and the creativity that goes into trying to entertain, amuse and inform people for a living. So much so that he started a podcast called “The Actor’s Grind”. And recently he asked me to join him for an episode. Now I know what you might be thinking. “Oh good, cuz the world needed another podcast with white guys who think they’re so funny jerking off into a mic!”, or “Finally, another chance to listen actors and other soft-shoe tulip-pants cry about how tough their life is and that mommy and daddy didn’t love them enough so that’s why they ask if I want fries or salad.” If that’s what you’re thinking I applaud your stereotypical “fictional character from the mind of Nick Stevens” narrow-mindedness. No, Matty’s podcast is an insightful and irreverent look into the lives of the actors and entertainers today that you know but you just dont know. The people that act in or voice the commercials you see, host the cable shows you watch, write the sitcoms you DVR…all that stuff. That’s what we do. And we love doing it. And Matty has created an easy-going forum to get to hear why we do what we do and how we came about it, without it being a smarmy “Inside The Actor’s Studio” on tape. It’s guys and gals who love acting and hosting and voicing and creating, who know no other life and have no choice but to do this because it’s what we do and who we are, having a chat with a regular guy who lives this life, too. Sure, it seems like a charmed life when we get lucky enough to be on TV, or star in a show. Or get paid to be on the radio. But it’s a hustle and a grind and a schlep and a hump to get there. And this is the best place in the world to talk about it. And Matty’s the best guy to host the show. And this is coming from a guy who auditions up against him regularly, and he didn’t pay me to say this (a coupla free beers go a long way in greasing my wheels though, as you probably know).
SO, before Matty and I go play “Lady & The Tramp” over a plate of spaghetti and meatballs or act out Ben Affleck’s solution to “Chasing Amy”, please give this a listen. Yes, I’m asking you to put Matty and me, and his awesome producer Kieran, in your ears for an hour. But I promise it’ll be fun. There are some really good stories, lots of nonsense, rambling, whimsy, advice and inappropriate jokes galore. And Matty’s the best at leading the You Parade without making you sound like Claus Von Indulgerson.
For a direct link or to download the podcast CLICK HERE. Or to visit the website, where you can catch previous episodes or subscribe to the show via iTunes, CLICK HERE.
I’m a firm believer in making your own work, creating your own opportunities. That’s the only way I’ve been able to get a career going and have some fun along the way. And that’s exactly what guys like Matty are doing with shows like this. Just working, helping folks have some fun with this life that one and many have said can eat you alive. So check it out - and try to support the arts - listen to podcasts - see more live theater - go see a band instead of pirating an album (you know who you are!) - have a beer and check out some comedy - and all that shit. And of course, as my character/alter ego Fitzy would say, “Don’t forget to go f**k yerself!”
This is my favorite Fitzy video to make every year. The fans were a little muted and/or sedate this year, and I don’t blame them. WE WANT FOOTBALL! Special thanks to NFL commissioner Roger Goodell for humoring us for a quick interview (man was he do some crowd work and damage control with the fanimals).
Here’s my favorite (the 1st go-round, 2007) of the four years of fan-on-the-street foolishness we’ve been making with my old pal Fitzy talking shop, smack & shit with the nuts on line waiting to get in to the NFL Draft (click the year to watch 2008, 2009 or 2010). What started as a simple “Hey, those Triumph the Insuot Comic Dog on the street videos are funny, let’s do one with NFL fans at the draft with Fitzy” from my friend Oscar has now become a mini-tradition and something I like forward to like a live show. I love getting into gear and “character” and having at it with fans of the other 31 teams. My brother, who’s edited the 2008-2010, does an ace job with the camera and the computer. And several hours of blabber and bullhonky and Brady-hating turns into five minutes of mostly funny. Still trying to figure out how to up the ante and bring it this Thursday. Rumor has it there’s this whole “might be no football this year’ storyline to follow…
What’s the easiest way to share your foulmouthed fictional character’s opinions and feelings on one and many a subject? Film them in front of a greenscreen in your apartment, stitch them together with title cards, lay down some Woody Allen movie jazz, and voila! The wonderfully inappropriate new series, “Fitzy Reacts To…!” Perfect for the whole family. If your family likes Boston sports, swear words and beer.
Yeah, yeah…I know I got a website already for Fitzy videos, but this one’s funny. And filthy. And has special effects! This represents a huge leap forward in Fitzy videos and lazy sportsfan vlogging kind, people.
After a brief posting hiatus (trip to London and France with the wife - the usual excuse), we’re back on the horse. And right before I took said “trip”, my brother and I took our now annual trip to Radio City Music Hall to brave the fanatical rapids of the crowds outside the NFL Draft. I got my Fitzy on, full well knowing that wearing a bright red Tom Brady jersey, to the Draft, which would be chock full o’ cocky Jets fans and Patriots haters galore, would be a challenge. How quickly we would learn what an understatement that is. Good things Pats fans feed off the hate we receive from others. Needless to say it was FANtastic. Utter fandemonium. Amongst the FANimals.
Next year I’m bringing a carnival dunk tank with a guy dressed in a Brady jersey who gives the fans the finger while taunting them from a microphone. Now that’d be a real scene.